So, I am going to ask the same question I asked on my FB.
Marlee's birthday is 10 days before the cut off for kindergarten this year. She is already in her second year of preschool. Is it better to start her this year and have her be the youngest? Or, have her do a third year of preschool and start her when she is almost six? I think I am going to go ahead and register her next month, because I can always pull her before the year starts if I decide against it, but I have been seriously stressing about this decision. Give me your best advise...
19 comments:
If you think she would do better as the oldest, I would opt for two years of kindergarten before another year of preschool. I will be going through the same thing with Rhode down the line so keep us posted on how it goes!
See, my problem with 2 years of Kindergarten is that I fear she would be labeled the "stupid" kid. My sister always teased me (it's ok, I'm over it, lol)and told me I was so dumb I got held back in KG (which wasn't true, but it sure made me self conscious!!) I am nervous about 2 years of KG, even if just because of what people say...
here in utah they won't let you do two years of Kinder. Not on their dime...Cali tried. She ended up having to put Tyson in private school for the second year. I held Oliver back...it is really hard to do (mainly because kinder is free and preschool costs) but, I am SOOO glad I did. His teacher is always telling me how smart and good he is. He is always her helper, and he knows he is one of the smartest kids in the class. I stressed and stressed about it too.
Look at it this way would you rather have her getting married at 18 or 19? hahaa If you hold her back she is at least a little older as she goes out into the real world.
Most people I have talked to who put them in with such close birthday's end up regretting it by the end. I have a sister and a sis in law who have august birthday's and went right in when they were 5 and both were ready at the time but as the years went past they struggled. both parent's wish they would have waited until the next year.
No question - hold her back! First time parents struggle with this because it's easy to feel like you are saying that you don't have confidence in your kid's ability. That has nothing to do with it. There is no doubt that she will do just fine and most likely excel if you put her in early but she will do even better at everything if you hold her back. It is so much better to drive as a sophomore, date as a sophomore, etc. etc. Look at all your options and choose your least expensive way of keeping her busy. Mostly just enjoy the time you have with her at home because it really does go fast and she will be a big help. And when she does go to Kindergarten and it is so easy for her and she is already reading... don't second guess your decision!That is just what you want. You can't put a price on confidence and self-esteem. It is easy to find ways to challenge them and if you have a good school system, they will do it for you. If not, just do it yourself. It will all catch up soon enough. And remember one more thing, no homework (especially in the early years) does not necessarily mean no challenge - just enjoy. Good luck!
Mandi, I'm not going to say that I'm an expert on this, b/c I'm not...but when I took my child development class they recommended that when given this choice for girls-to start them early b/c girls tend to mature faster and from a non-academic standpoint, girls that mature faster tend to be made fun of more (for their changing shape and body) and get into trouble with boys faster. They recommend with boys to start them later b/c they tend to mature later and maturing late for boys is typically where they get made fun of. Anyway, that's from a non-academic standpoint.
My husband actually was the youngest in his class and didn't mind at all. Tonya and I were some of the youngest in our classes and I don't think it ever bothered us (well I know it never bothered me..but I was also an early mature-er). But really, I think it all comes down to your child. Do you think Marlee is ready for kindergarten? Is she excited about it? Does she do well in preschool? Just ask yourself what you think would be best based on her personality and pray about it and I'm sure you'll figure it out. :)
Mandi, whatever decision you make is going to be the best for Marlee. You are such a great mom, she's going to be just fine either way. I will say I was the youngest in my graduation class (my b-day is in August) and in the long run I'm so grateful to have graduated when I did. Ya, there were times when the older girls were 16 before me and dated and drove before me...big deal. It didn't last long at all. I had a great time and had great friends even some who were almost a year older. I graduated at 17, got my college done earlier, etc. I had no problems being younger and there will probably be kids just as young. Either grade you put her in, she will have no trouble finding friends so I that won't be a problem. I guess it just depends on how well she does with the material. ...and she's a "smarty pants!" I think she should be fine in kindergarden and if you need to, hold her back again. At kindergarden age, I don't think it will have big of an effect on her. Anyway, good luck! You are a great mom and will totally know what she needs!
Hey Mandi! It's Leslie from Boise! I sometimes check your blog out and saw your question. Since I taught kindergarten for a few years I thought I would weigh in. I agree with Tiffany in that girls are usually more mature than boys. I would go ahead and put her in. If she is anything like my 4 year old girl she will be bored to tears in preschool for a third year. If you feel like she needs a second year of kindergarten then go that route. Remember there will be kids in kindergarten who never went to preschool at all (at least in my classes there were) so she will have that advantage. I bet she is a smarty and will do great!! Then she can graduate when she is 17 like I did. I got along just fine with my august birthday and being the youngest! Good luck!
I didn't start Kindergarten until I was 6 (u know, Aug bday). It worked out for me. I was shorter than everyone, but older at the same time. It turned out to be good because I had more opportunities in the grade I was in. I didn't exactly like being the oldest and often thought I belonged in the older grade, but I loved school and didn't struggle with the academics. I give my mom a hard time for "holding me back", but I know that she prayed about it and felt I needed to start when I did.
Having taught kindergarten and seen kids on both ends, I always tend to think it is better to be the older one. There is never any shame or embarassment in being the smart kid. I also think that a lot of the time a child has more than just academic stress at being the youngest. Girls less so than boys, but it's still there. And I noticed that they keep pushing the cut-off date later and later. So even students who were "ready" were really young. So if she misses the cut-off, it is generally smarter to wait. That doesn't mean you can't keep her moving forward academically. It just means that when you do, it will be outside the stress of assessments and school requirements. That is just my opinion :)
I say wait! I was a july birthday...and always had to watch my friends date, drive, go to dances and stuff way before me. It was lame staying home and waiting. She also graduated a little older and more mature and ready for college. I was 17 when I graduated! that is my 2 sense!
Hmm, thats tough. If she were a boy I would definitely say hold her back... but a little girl, they develop so much faster and if she seems ready... I did had a friend whose birthday was August 28th and she was the youngest in our class, she HATED it, but mine was in June and I didnt think it was that big of a deal! I guess I would just look and see if you think socially, mentally, etc, is she ready... maybe even if her friends around there are going in with her or not... not that you should choose based on what her friends are doing but maybe she would feel more comfortable. If it were Hallie, I would probably hold her back, but in UT you dont have the option of 2 years kindergarten so I haven't really thought of that. Is that what your considering or just keep her going? Anyways, this is quickly turning into a novel but which ever decision you choose I am sure she will do just fine! Good luck!
I think thay CAN do 2 years here, but I have already decided I don't want her doing two years of KG. I think it would be hard to hear about. My problem is that she COULD go either way and be successful enough.... I just don't know which one would be best. I have had a lot of people say girls are much better to go in younger than boys though. Ahhhhh.....
Hi you don't know me but i'm a friend of Kacey's and saw your great debate. As a kindergarten teacher myself I would suggest you wait another year. It is always hard for the students that have June, July and even August birthdays. No matter how ready you think she might be wait! My son will be in the same situation as a Septmeber baby and I already plan on making him wait untill he is six. It is always better to make sure then to have years of regret. I hope this helps!
I was younger! I was actually always the youngest! I graduated just a few months after I turned 17 and I would say the puberty years are hard socially. But I would say I think every girl says that no matter when they started. Girls are just mean at that age. Looking back academically I did great! It wasn't a problem. I was also happy to graduate early and have more time for schooling or whatever before getting married. I agree with everyone, boys should be held back if there is an option, the whole ego thing and all. But girls I think you can go either way pretty safely.
I was early and I turned out just fine!
I am so sorry you have to stress about this. I was in your same boat, about this time last year.
I did TONS of research. I talked to TONS of teachers. I even went and spoke with the principal. I was told: "I have NEVER heard parents say that they regret holding their child back. I have ONLY heard parents wish they would have done so." That kind of summed it up for me. I am SO very glad I held Eliza back.
This is the most important advice I can give you: PRAY about it. It worked for me.
I'm a little late with this comment, but my vote is to have her be held back, that's what I did. I LOVED being just a bit older than my friends, I got to drive first (probably not the best idea in retrospect) and got to go to more school dances as well. Being older is the way to go.
Kindergarten?! Sheesh. Thanks for the reminder that I should be looking into that sometime before this Fall. Actually, I just wanted to read the comments on this one...
I was one that barely made the cutoff for kindergarten, making me one of the youngest. As I got into high school, I hated that I had to wait until my junior year to date, go to dances, drive, etc. So I am all for them being older than younger.
By the way, this is Catherine Edwards - just noticed on your facebook that you have a blog, I have one too if you care to venture over and take a look!
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